When parents separate or divorce, they need to decide how to share time with their children. This is called a parenting time schedule. Before you talk to your child’s other parent about this matter or go to court, it can be helpful to think about what kind of schedule could work best for your child—and for you.
Unless your co-parent agrees to your approach, you’ll likely have to be flexible. But, it can be helpful to know what you’d like – in a perfect world – to clarify your priorities as you start working on figuring things out.
What is most important to you?
Start by thinking about your daily life. What days and times do you work? When is your child in school or daycare? Do they have after-school activities or weekend events? Your parenting time plan should ideally work around these things.
Next, think about what your child needs. Young children often do better with short times away from each parent. Older kids might be okay with longer stretches of parenting time. Some kids like a set routine. Others can handle switching homes more often. Try to build a schedule that makes your child feel safe and supported.
You should also think about holidays, school breaks and summer. Will you and your child’s other parent take turns each year? Can you split special days? These things can be hard to figure out later, so it’s good to plan early.
Before you begin negotiating, know what is most important to you. Maybe it’s having your child with you on school nights, or being able to attend their sports games or doctor visits. Write down your top goals. Be ready to explain why those things matter.
Also, know what you can be flexible about. No schedule is perfect, and some give-and-take is often needed. If you are open to talking and listening, it can help you both find a plan that works.
If you’re not sure where to start, try drawing a weekly calendar. Mark who has the child each day and time. Look at it and ask yourself: Does this seem fair? Will it work for school and work? Is it best for your child?
Making a parenting time schedule is not always easy, but it’s important. A skilled legal team can work with you to create a plan and speak for you during talks or in court. A good plan can help your whole family move forward.
